


Speech Lessons for Butler

by Dagnabbit



Series: The Life and Times of Jane Doe [7]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Robot/Human Relationships, Shakespeare Quotations, idiot savant, learning, surprise headcannon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3500294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dagnabbit/pseuds/Dagnabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and the cybernetic clone Butler have fun with Dell the Engineer. Just a quick little blurb that I've been harboring about Solly being smart at odd times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speech Lessons for Butler

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MisSuzyQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisSuzyQ/gifts).



“oo!”

“No, Butler. You.”

“OO!”

“No Butler. You. Watch my lips. YOU.”

“OO.”

Jane was laying on the floor of Dell’s toolshed on his back, with the little cybernetic raccoon on his chest, in an endless go-to cycle that Dell desperately wanted to pull the plug on. He was working on his pet project, another Respawn device that was portable, for when the shit hit the fan off-map. There wasn’t any reason to flirt with death permanently if there was a way to reign him in.  
However, Dell was having a time concentrating because the endlessly patient Jane could not stop trying to get Butler to round out his vowels.

“Ya know, you could try another word, Jane. One with less vowels in it,” he suggested. “Raccoons don’t have much in the way of lips.”

“He can do it, Engie. I know he can! He’s the smartest raccoon in the world!” Jane held up Butler off of his chest, while the critter squirmed in delight, whistling.

“Butler. Try this phrase,” Dell said, pushing away from the desk and getting up. “The quick brown fox,” Dell walked over to Jane’s side, looking down at the pair, “jumps over the lazy dog!” Dell jumped over Jane and the raccoon. “Heh, that was fun. Surprised that I cleared ya.”

“ah quik brown foxx jumps ovr ah laaazee dogg” Butler recited in his little whistle voice. Jane raised his eyebrows and smiled at the robot. “Wow! Butler, that was very, very good!”

“If we keep trying new words and giving him stuff he can handle, there’s no reason he won’t improve,” Dell said, sitting on the floor next to the pair. “Hey, Butler. Try this. Four-score and seven years ago,”

“oor score ah shevhen yeahs ahgo,” the little raccoon said.

“Dell, that’s too hard for him! He’s just a baby, he needs to learn slowly! “Jane retorted, frowning at the engineer and holding the raccoon protectively away from Dell.

“Well, he won’t get far if ya don’t try something a little more challenging!” Dell shrugged back.

Jane sat up, cross legged, and looked at Butler in the face. “This isn’t too hard for you is it? I can understand you just fine, but Dell here thinks you whistle too much,”

“oo!” Butler replied, and Dell chuckled. “I never had planned to make him talk, Jane. I only added that script at the last minute. It’s up ta him if he wants to improve upon it. Ya, see, his brain is a quad core blah blah blah blah blah…” Jane had already tuned out Dell, and stood up, holding Butler in his arms, and he swayed his body in a dramatic pose and held the critter aloft. “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy,” Jane swung the raccoon up into the air and Butler launched his rotors, hovering, his little green eyes lighting up the room, and Jane stood in the contrast of shadows under the watching eyes of his robot.

“Uh...that might be a little advanced…”Dell trailed off, his mouth hanging in astonishment. He had no idea that Jane knew Shakespeare. Jane dropped that pose and took another stance, one hand on his heart and the other beckoning the flying raccoon.

“"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!" The raccoon floated down and perched on Jane’s outstretched hand. Dell chuckled at that.

“Ya see, he’s not even tryin-“he started to say.

"O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?" Butler said, his little feet and hands hanging on to Jane’s large hand.

“What?” Dell was shocked. The robot repeated the phrase perfectly! “Have you been practicing with him?”

Jane smiled at Dell, and with another sweeping gesture, projected himself towards the engineer. “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

Dell was pleasantly surprised by his Soldier. The day had suddenly gotten quite a bit more interesting. He decided that this was a perfect time to see how much of his language arts studies he recalled. He had focused on math sciences mostly, but as a well-rounded student, Dell had chewed though his share of poetry and prose. Dell stood up, and dusted off his pants to straighten them again, and cleared his throat.

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.” Dell spoke, his accent hidden. Jane looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, and then with another dramatic pose, spoke on towards the little robot.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”

“Wait a minute, I ain’t a she!” Dell said, turning towards Jane. Jane smiled, and had the most mischievous look on his face. Dell thought, _Wait a tic. He’s fuckin with me now…_

“All right,” Dell said, shaking off the indigence. “Ah see how we’re playin’ now. Romantic insults. Ok pardner…’you speak an infinite deal of nothing.’”

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” Jane folded his arms, and stared down at the shorter man, smugly.

“Dispute not with her: she is lunatic!” Dell shot back, grinning.

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.” Turning his back on Dell, Jane called the raccoon to his shoulder, and when the little robot had perched, Jane bowed deeply to his Engie.

“Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?” Jane looked up at Dell from his bow, eyebrows raised and a half-smile on his lips. Dell laughed at that. In school discussions, the biting of the thumb was just as big an insult as was flippin’ the bird at someone now.

“I do love nothing in the world so well as you- is not that strange?” Dell took Jane in his arms. “All right, ya proven yer point. Butler is very eloquent, however, in Shakespeare…I don’t forsee him using all that flowery speech anytime soon,”

“I know, but at night sometimes, well, when I’m not spending the night with you that is…I have a few books. Shakespeare. I used to read them to Lieutenant Bites. I even practiced some of the scenes with him, when I couldn’t sleep.” Jane bent down a little to kiss Dell, who had taken on a more serious face. “It’s better, now that I have Butler. He can talk. I gave him the lines, and he just went right at it with me! I wanted to surprise you.”

“oo!” Butler said, smiling at the two of them from uptop Jane’s shoulder. “However…he still has trouble with the word, you.” Jane released Dell, and raised a hand to pat the little raccoon robot on the head.

Dell sighed, relived that Jane wasn’t going to get morose about Bites again. Some days, Jane just couldn’t shake off the loss, but the grief was getting less vicious. Jane was healing, and Dell was grateful his little robot helped pull Jane out of that pit of despair.

“All right then. Why don’t you fellas go on now? I think I need a break from all this thinkin’,” The engineer stretched his back and yawned, but still smiling, shook his head and laughed. “You know, if it wasn’t for you two fellas, I’d probably not be doing a whole hell of a lot of anything. In fact, I think I got a lot more sleep before you two came into my life.” When Dell turned his eyes back onto Jane and Butler, his heart lurched. Jane had the saddest look on his face, the look of a whipped dog, and the raccoon’s wasn’t much better.

“Uh, no, I ain’t complainin’! Jest sayin’” Dell stammered out. Jane’s face instantly lit up again.

“Okay, Engie. I’ll let you alone.” Solly stood up, and gathered up Butler, and the two disappeared back to his barracks. Dell sighed, sank into his comfy chair, and quickly went to sleep.


End file.
